For me it started with how I looked at the world. When Bugaboo was diagnosed with Autism it shifted the way I view things. I started looking for understanding, kindness and caring. While I have always tried to be the person that smiled at others, said hi and was polite, this shift made it even more important to me. I wanted to show people kindness and I wanted to be an example of this for my children. If I want people to be kind and understanding towards my Autistic son, then I should be that for others as well. It also made me not overly concerned with anything negative someone might say to me. People don't understand my circumstances and their negative comments don't control my life. It became easier for me to ignore negative comments and brush them off. Now I am not saying it takes a shift in your entire world to be confident or recognize the wonderful person you are, this is just what happened for me.
What helped me next was watching the documentary Embrace. If you have not watched this movie yet, please do. I would love to share it with as many of you as possible. Let me know and I would love to set up a screening of it for as many of you that would love to watch it. This movie was eye opening. Taryn Brumfitt is incredible as well as all of the amazing women that are in this film. It made me look into the way society views women, their bodies and society's ideal of beauty. It also made me aware of how I look at myself and how I want my daughter to view herself. Please check out all of the information about the Body Image Movement https://bodyimagemovement.com/.
I thought about all the wonderful things I have done and am capable of. I looked inside myself and found the things I love about who I am as a person. I asked myself what do I love about me. I am strong, caring, kind, loving and understanding. I am loyal, trustworthy and smart. These are the things that make me who I am. Start there. What do you love about who you are as a person? Because all of you are incredible people. Remember that who you are, what you think and what you are capable of is not defined by what you look like. This is not something we think about often because society tends to focus on what women look like as if that is the most important thing about them which I think is completely ridiculous. Once you recognize yourself for the person that you are, it makes it so much easier to recognize the beauty on the outside as well. Think about the things your body is capable of. Think about the love you share just by using your body. Think about the things you do each day using your body. Think about the way you can accomplish your dreams, you care for your children, your significant other, the things you do everyday using your body. How can anything that can do so much be anything other than beautiful and wonderful?
Every woman is different, looks different because we are all incredibly unique and that in itself is wonderful. Look at yourself in the mirror and think about all of those things that make you who you are. Think about the way that you show that, you might be amazed by what you see. Start with one thing that you love about your body. Find the one thing that makes you feel good about yourself. I have always loved my hair so I started with that. Then I slowly started to look at the rest of my body and focused on why and how I have used it. Once I recognized what my body could do, I focused on how amazing that is. It makes it so much easier to stand in the mirror and look at myself to see the person I am and want to make myself stand out and be proud of who I am.
The hardest part is getting beyond all of the negative thoughts that happen inside your head. The truth is that we are always our harshest critics. It is so much easier to focus on the things that we failed at during the day than the amazing things we accomplished. It is easier to look in the mirror and see all the negatives. Once that negative voice pops up in my head, I immediately recognize it and freeze. When it started if I looked in the mirror, I walked away to focus on something else because that negative voice is never going to help me. It doesn't change who I am at my core, it just makes me feel crappy about myself. So, I stop what I am doing and do something that I love. I personally love music and dancing. I turn music up super loud and dance in the car, around the house, in a chair and sing the song at the top of my lungs. It makes everything a little better in my world. It helps when my kids join in my happiness and dance with me around the house. Find something that you enjoy, that takes you out of your head. Find something that makes you feel joy and happiness and do that until that voice disappears. Make sure to recognize what it is, that you are realizing you are being unfair to yourself and that it is not helping you.
As I said, this a lot of work. It is not overnight. It takes time and understanding. I still work at it. I remind myself who I am, what I am capable of and why that means I deserve as much love as I give.
Please remember that you are all incredible. Let me know if you would like to discuss any of this further or if you would like to watch the Embrace Documentary with me. I would love to hear what you love about who you are as a person and if you need any help knowing what that is I will happily remind you.
Until next time, I will just continue on this Journey of an everyday mom building my confidence and recognizing the awesomeness that is me :)...
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