Life is Definitely Different...

 How to even begin discussing all the changes that have occurred? The world is a different place now and life is definitely not the same. It feels like so much has changed and it is a struggle for me as an adult let alone my children. For Hubby and I, work has been a little crazy. I have been considered an essential employee throughout the entire pandemic and therefore have been at work onsite the entire time. I don't know what I would do if it weren't for Hubby. I mean seriously I don't know how he does it. Since he already worked from home, this did not change but he has been pulled onto daily 12 hour long conference calls since March. This with two children running around the house confused and with distance learning, I'm telling you he has surprised and impressed me so much during this time. I cannot praise the man enough (really my appreciation knows no bounds for him). I know many people have been either unemployed or moved to working from home which are huge adjustments to make. This alone is difficult but add in parenting, shutdowns and distance learning and it is all sorts of immense craziness. 

Lets start with distance learning...I know that making the decisions about what was best for our family was a difficult decision when it came to choosing what form of school the kids would be going through this year. It didn't help that our district was still attempting answers up until the decision had to be made. Watching an 8 hour long board of education meeting that lasted until after midnight when I had to get up at 4 am the next morning for work was difficult but it was necessary to come up with the best decision for our family that we could make. Distance learning is difficult, especially with a special needs child with an IEP. Luckily he has been doing well so far, but we have had to fight for his one on one aide to be kept for him (after we fought to get her in the first place). Bugaboo's class starts at 8:30 until 2:30 everyday. He has online session with his teacher from 8:30 until about 12:00 which is all up to Hubby since he is the one home and on a conference call usually during this time (really can't express my immense gratitude for this amazing man). Chickadee's day starts at 12:45 and goes until 7:00 pm. Her live session with her teacher is from 3:45 until 7:00 in the evening which I am usually home for. Then there is homework and help with independent work and trying to get programs to work and times when the link doesn't work. Can I just say that I do not like trying to figure out common core math...(I am constantly having to look at their books or watch the videos and then go why????? prior to helping them with their assignment. Anybody with me on this?) At one point when we were working on getting one on one aide time for Bugaboo, we were told by the district that he didn't need it because we were home with him and we were supposed to be his support. Now we attempt to be his support as much as possible but trying to be all of this with our current work schedules was more than just "difficult" as the district attempted to put it, it is more like daunting. (Although when Bugaboo's teacher asked his class who they talk to when they are scared, or happy or need help and he answered with mommy, daddy and sister it just made me feel like I am actually doing something right which is always a nice feeling.) But seriously, trying to navigate work for Hubby and I, both the kids school schedules and be 100 times more involved with everyday school work has been stressful and overwhelming and frustrating. Sometimes we want to scream, or pull our hair out or both. Yet that is not all that is difficult when it comes to what is happening in the world today. 

Trying to explain to my kids about a global pandemic, shutdowns and changes in the world has been extremely difficult. Trying to express how significant it is while not overwhelming them is frustrating. I attempt to be as completely honest as I can, not to downplay anything while not making them scared to just live and be kids. Finding a balance in all of this, dealing with my own personal feelings and frustrations while trying to help them navigate their feelings and how to deal with them is overwhelming some days. I have lost my cool, yelled and cried and then apologized profusely for taking it out on them. I have expressed that is okay to be frustrated, to yell into a pillow when you can't get it out any other way, to cry and be mad. I have given hugs and reassurances while reminding them to wear their masks, wash their hands and just be kind to everyone because this hard for everyone. I have to search a little harder for the silver lining in most things but overall, we have banded together as a family and supported one another. We may have had a few fights but we found ways to communicate better with each other about what we need (which may include a mommy time out until she can get her bearings back). It is okay to ask for help! 

The journey this year has had more bumps, bruises, ups and downs than ever before. There are more questions than answers, more frustrations than joyous moments and unexpected changes. I am expecting the zombie apocalypse to occur at any moment. What has changed for you? How are you handling distance learning? If you want to know anything else in regards to how things are going for us or how we explained something to our children, feel free to reach out. If you need help, feel free to ask and I will help you find the support you need. Until next time (which I hope will be much sooner than this) just keep holding onto hope on this journey...