When you are faced with continuous stress in multiple areas of your life for months it can be very trying and exhausting. It messes with your head, your mood and how you feel. For months, I was irritable, tired, moody and pretty closed off. Now one of my many flaws, is that I don't share the things going on with me until I work them out or I blow a gasket. This is not the healthiest way of dealing with many emotions or stressful situations. I am aware of this and it is one of the many things I am working on about myself. Luckily I have a very supportive husband who lets me vent, cry and snuggle as needed. He is the one person I consistently confide in before anyone else. I did let a couple of my close girlfriends know about what I was dealing with but it was limited and I mostly held radio silence with everyone because frankly I was trying to maintain my strength in myself. What I mean by that is it felt like if I started to open up, the floodgates would pour out and I wasn't ready but I am now so let the flood of info commence...
I know I told you all about the things that happened over the last few months, but I didn't mention that it put me in a funk. I didn't feel like myself. I felt constantly tired and just like I kinda deflated as a person for a little bit. I knew that I needed to get my head back on right. I my new job that I needed three weeks before I started because frankly I needed a break. I couldn't take it all anymore. I needed time home with my family. The most important people in my life, the ones that make me smile and the ones that just put things into perspective for me. Luckily for me, my old job let me go a week early which means that I got two weeks home. Two weeks to breath and not feel like everything was falling apart. During those two weeks, I took time to process everything and do a lot of soul searching.
First, I needed to deal with the intense sadness I felt from the death of my uncle's passing. The first day off was his funeral. As I said in my last post, I felt an intense need to take care of my Nana the entire funeral and witnessing the entire funeral was very soothing to my soul. It also helped that I got to look at him and touch his hand during the viewing. I was one of the last people in the room and so I took a minute to touch his hand. The same one I held all day a week before. It was cold and it made it very clear that he wasn't there anymore. I cried at that moment, but it felt like closure to me. To just know that he wasn't there. I cried during the funeral itself and by the end I felt a sense of peace in regards to his passing. I knew that he had been in a lot of pain and wanting to leave this world. It didn't make it easier for me to say goodbye. Remembering being a source of comfort during that last day with him and a source of strength for my Nana at the funeral, that made me feel better. It reminded me of my inner strength, my ability to listen, comfort and my ability to continuously remember all the wonderful times that I shared with him. After that day it was as if the sadness just left me. I miss and will continue to do so intensely and immensely. But it is not the same as the aching sadness I felt deep inside for the entire week after I was informed of his passing. It also made me appreciate family that much more. To see the way that family gathers, supports, comforts and loves each other is amazing to see and even more wonderful to feel and personally experience. My family was a wonderful support system during this time.
Next, I got to take my kids to school and pick them up everyday for two weeks. It was nice because I often have mom guilt for not being there for those things. My schedule and traffic requires me to leave the house at 4:30 am and I usually don't get home until 4 pm sometimes later. So getting a chance to finally meet my son's one on one aide and hear how his day was, receiving the reports directly and seeing their interactions just made me relax. Hubby usually handles all of this and he gives me the rundown daily of both the kids' days, which I love and appreciate with everything in me. But being able to witness it and participate eased my guilt and gave my children joy and Hubby a much needed break from these daily activities. It made me feel connected again. Just getting to spend all that time with my kids and Hubby gave me a sense of peace and comfort just by living life daily, by focusing on the needs of my family and taking care of them like I hadn't felt I had been doing.It was comforting and all the snuggles just made it that much better. I have to say being reminded of all the love provided by everybody during all these struggles just reinforced the goodness in the world.
Finally I focused on me. I provided myself with a lot of self care and love during this two weeks. First I slept in. After years of getting up every morning at 4 am, sleeping in every day until 630 for two weeks was amazing. It let me get some much needed rest and relaxation. One night after everyone else in the house went to bed, I danced around the house to some of my favorite songs. I also focused on the things that mean something to me. I let myself dream of what I want for the future and how I want to spend my time. I put together a list of the things I want to focus on for myself and then shared it with my husband so we are both on the same page. Plus I want the support of Hubby when I am working on these things. One of the things I want to focus on is writing, it is relaxing and brings me a lot of joy. So hopefully you all will see a lot from in the near future. I also love working with the amazing women of the Body Image Movement and the global ambassadors. They are incredible women who are working towards making global change. Many of them have made careers out of this. They have inspired me to work towards making this full time for myself as well. I am working on a plan of what my strengths are and how to do the most good with them. Let me start by sharing with you a course I took that helped me view myself in a completely different light. If you are struggling with yourself the way that I was, then this course is an excellent and informative step in truly accepting and loving yourself for who you are. This course is called Embrace You and you can check it out at the following link: https://bodyimagemovement.com/embraceyou/?ref=W217 Also if you have not yet watched the Embrace documentary then you should see it!!!! It is currently on Netflix in the U.S. and on ITunes in most other countries. I will use another post to go into more detail about all of this information but the most important thing I can tell you is to know that who you are as a person is amazing. We all deserve to love ourselves and I spent two weeks reminding myself exactly why I love myself.
So if you are still with me, thank you for letting me ramble all of the information that has gone through my mind over the last couple of weeks. Also if you want more information about Embrace, the Embrace You course or the Body Image Movement please let me know. I will gladly share it all with you. Let me know some truths that you have discovered. What experiences made you see what you really want? What are your dreams for the future? What are some ways that you provide yourself with some self love/care? Feel free to share whatever you want with me, I would love to hear your thoughts and feelings. Until next time I will just keep dreaming through this journey of an everyday mom.
Tuesday, February 27, 2018
Monday, February 19, 2018
Life...
Hello all! So life has been crazy lately and I have been trying to do my best to deal with it to the best of my ability which means that I am only human and have had many ups and downs over the last couple of months. There is so much to share with you and I'm not sure I will get through all of it in one post. Let me start with the crazy and not so great stuff and then in another post I will focus on all the positive that has come out of it for me.
Towards the end of the year, we had several IEP meetings for Bugaboo in regards to getting him a full time, personal one on one aide which we felt was necessary. It took several months, assessments, several meetings but it was finally approved. It took several more weeks before his aide was hired. I don't know how many of you have had IEP meetings but they can take up to several hours depending on the amount of things that need to be discussed. The assessment required several people to come out and observe Bugaboo in class for two months. It was a long but necessary process. The results have been worth it. He adores his aide and there have been positive results that we can see in class. Our school district is amazing and has been very easy to work with not to mention the support from the staff, his teacher and school psychologists has made things tremendously easier for us when going through this process. We also have had a lot of support from Inland Regional Center, who visits in school, is willing to attend the IEP meetings and send us to conferences in regards to IEPs. This alone sent us on some highs and lows but ultimately turned out alright.
Our Christmas this year was very different, you see Hubby's grandfather unexpectedly passed away on Christmas Eve. Hubby spent as much time at the hospital as he could spending time with his grandfather and being supportive of his family that were shocked, sad and heartbroken. I had to explain to my children to the best of my ability that their great grandfather passed away. It is not easy to explain in child friendly terms and it is hard to expect what their reaction would be. My children happened to be much more understanding because I did have to explain this concept previously when we had to put our cat down unexpectedly due to illness. In January, I found out that my great uncle who is like a grandfather to me had only a few days left to live. Now this man was 96 years old, and ornery as no other. I mean at 90 he was still climbing on the roof to fix things. He has had several close calls through out the years but of course we went immediately to visit him. Unfortunately, this time was much different. When we arrived he was no longer able to speak and had very limited responses. Fortunately for me, I was the one he responded to the most that day. I spent the entire day by his bed side, talking to him, holding his hand and telling him how much I love him. As devastating as it was to have to say goodbye, it was quite cathartic to be able to spend that time with him. During his viewing and funeral, I was my nana's support (although there were several people there for her that day) I had an intense need to hold her hand throughout the viewing and funeral itself. Seeing a military service first hand is quite the moving experience, you see my uncle was in the Navy during WWII. To see all the veterans, the union come that he was in for so long and see the church community come out to show their support, offer their help and pay their condolences was a soul soothing experience.
On top of all of this there was some major stress going on at work. The company I worked for was bought and the new owners came in. At first it was a positive experience and I was excited about everything. Unfortunately that changed with the hiring of a new production manager. I was unable to work with him. I had to do several aspects of his job, I'm unsure if he wasn't sure how to do these things or just unwilling but either way I was doing the job of multiple people which was not easy. Add on to this that I started witnessing some unprofessional behavior towards the men who worked in the shop that I could not tolerate. While I won't go into all the details, it became abundantly clear to me that I needed to make a change. I was consistently stressed, unhappy, angry, frustrated and felt completely unheard. So I took a job offer I received and put in my two weeks notice. Now I am going into a completely different role than what I have ever done before, but I am hoping that this new experience is going to be a good change for me.
Oh and I had the stomach flu the entire first week of the new year ugh!!!!
Life has been crazy, thrown me some massive curve balls over the last few months but it has also shown me some amazing truths. I will tell you all about those truths in my next post.
Have any of you dealt with some massive curve balls? When was life craziest for you? Share your stories with me, I would love to hear them.
Until next time, I am going to keep pushing on in this journey of an everyday mom....
Towards the end of the year, we had several IEP meetings for Bugaboo in regards to getting him a full time, personal one on one aide which we felt was necessary. It took several months, assessments, several meetings but it was finally approved. It took several more weeks before his aide was hired. I don't know how many of you have had IEP meetings but they can take up to several hours depending on the amount of things that need to be discussed. The assessment required several people to come out and observe Bugaboo in class for two months. It was a long but necessary process. The results have been worth it. He adores his aide and there have been positive results that we can see in class. Our school district is amazing and has been very easy to work with not to mention the support from the staff, his teacher and school psychologists has made things tremendously easier for us when going through this process. We also have had a lot of support from Inland Regional Center, who visits in school, is willing to attend the IEP meetings and send us to conferences in regards to IEPs. This alone sent us on some highs and lows but ultimately turned out alright.
Our Christmas this year was very different, you see Hubby's grandfather unexpectedly passed away on Christmas Eve. Hubby spent as much time at the hospital as he could spending time with his grandfather and being supportive of his family that were shocked, sad and heartbroken. I had to explain to my children to the best of my ability that their great grandfather passed away. It is not easy to explain in child friendly terms and it is hard to expect what their reaction would be. My children happened to be much more understanding because I did have to explain this concept previously when we had to put our cat down unexpectedly due to illness. In January, I found out that my great uncle who is like a grandfather to me had only a few days left to live. Now this man was 96 years old, and ornery as no other. I mean at 90 he was still climbing on the roof to fix things. He has had several close calls through out the years but of course we went immediately to visit him. Unfortunately, this time was much different. When we arrived he was no longer able to speak and had very limited responses. Fortunately for me, I was the one he responded to the most that day. I spent the entire day by his bed side, talking to him, holding his hand and telling him how much I love him. As devastating as it was to have to say goodbye, it was quite cathartic to be able to spend that time with him. During his viewing and funeral, I was my nana's support (although there were several people there for her that day) I had an intense need to hold her hand throughout the viewing and funeral itself. Seeing a military service first hand is quite the moving experience, you see my uncle was in the Navy during WWII. To see all the veterans, the union come that he was in for so long and see the church community come out to show their support, offer their help and pay their condolences was a soul soothing experience.
On top of all of this there was some major stress going on at work. The company I worked for was bought and the new owners came in. At first it was a positive experience and I was excited about everything. Unfortunately that changed with the hiring of a new production manager. I was unable to work with him. I had to do several aspects of his job, I'm unsure if he wasn't sure how to do these things or just unwilling but either way I was doing the job of multiple people which was not easy. Add on to this that I started witnessing some unprofessional behavior towards the men who worked in the shop that I could not tolerate. While I won't go into all the details, it became abundantly clear to me that I needed to make a change. I was consistently stressed, unhappy, angry, frustrated and felt completely unheard. So I took a job offer I received and put in my two weeks notice. Now I am going into a completely different role than what I have ever done before, but I am hoping that this new experience is going to be a good change for me.
Oh and I had the stomach flu the entire first week of the new year ugh!!!!
Life has been crazy, thrown me some massive curve balls over the last few months but it has also shown me some amazing truths. I will tell you all about those truths in my next post.
Have any of you dealt with some massive curve balls? When was life craziest for you? Share your stories with me, I would love to hear them.
Until next time, I am going to keep pushing on in this journey of an everyday mom....
Friday, November 24, 2017
Happy Thanksgiving...
I hope you all had a safe and wonderful Thanksgiving. Let me start this post off with saying how grateful I am for my family and friends. I feel very blessed because of all of the love I feel daily from all of you. I am so appreciative of this life I have been blessed with and I am so glad that I get to learn, experience and grow from the things you teach me. I feel very hopeful, encouraged, excited and inspired for the things going on in my life. I will explain more of all of that in a later post.
This year is the first year I handled the majority of the dinner by myself. I was a little anxious prior to making the meal but luckily everything came together. I made the turkey, stuffing, and apple salad myself. My mom helped me with the gravy, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole once she got here which was nice. For the most part I took care of the majority of dinner and I was extremely impressed with myself. My little chickadee was a huge helper. Although she is only 4, she wanted to be by my side all day long helping out her mommy. So she helped me stir, add in things, stuff the turkey. She even told me that she wants to get a pink and purple apron just for her so when she helps out in the kitchen (if any of you know where I can find one for cheap, cause this momma is not a rich momma, let me know please, I would love to get her one for Christmas!). Now we did have to make some exceptions on food for my Bugaboo, due to his sensitivity with food because of his autism. So we made him some corn dogs because that is something he will actually eat.
Here are some photos of our dinner...
Please excuse the non matching serving dishes :) it was just a family affair after all and nothing is perfect in this household.
Just in case you were wondering about recipes at all let me tell you about the stuff I made.
The turkey, I stuffed with celery, an onion I quartered, a lemon I quartered, carrots and fresh poultry herbs. Then I rubbed some softened butter mixed with fresh poultry herbs on the turkey under the skin and on top of the skin. Then I cooked it in an oven bag at 350 degrees for a little over 3 hours and checked it with a thermometer to make sure it was done.
The stuffing, I started by sauteeing a whole onion, sliced celery (the center pieces with the leaves because the majority of the flavor comes from there), fresh garlic and herbs. Then I cooked up some Jimmy Dean's Hot Breakfast Sausage, diced up an apple and mixed it all with some seasoned bread crumbs. Then I added some broth just until the stuffing held together in my hand if squished a little. I also added some poultry seasoning to it to provide it with more flavor. Then cooked covered for about 40 minutes at 350 degrees and then for another 20 minutes uncovered.
Apple salad is a recipe I got from the Hubby's grandma. It is diced apples, sliced celery, halved grapes, raisins, chopped walnuts and marshmallows. I just added all of these until it felt like a nice mix of the ingredients. Not certain measurements. Then the sauce is mayo mixed with cool whip. This is about a 50/50 mix, but I mostly did it to taste. I tend to like mine slightly sweeter.
What did you all make for Thanksgiving? I would love to hear your recipes. What are you thankful for this year? I would love to hear any of your Thanksgiving day stories.
Until next time I am just going to continue on this exciting journey of an everyday mom...
This year is the first year I handled the majority of the dinner by myself. I was a little anxious prior to making the meal but luckily everything came together. I made the turkey, stuffing, and apple salad myself. My mom helped me with the gravy, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole once she got here which was nice. For the most part I took care of the majority of dinner and I was extremely impressed with myself. My little chickadee was a huge helper. Although she is only 4, she wanted to be by my side all day long helping out her mommy. So she helped me stir, add in things, stuff the turkey. She even told me that she wants to get a pink and purple apron just for her so when she helps out in the kitchen (if any of you know where I can find one for cheap, cause this momma is not a rich momma, let me know please, I would love to get her one for Christmas!). Now we did have to make some exceptions on food for my Bugaboo, due to his sensitivity with food because of his autism. So we made him some corn dogs because that is something he will actually eat.
Here are some photos of our dinner...
Just in case you were wondering about recipes at all let me tell you about the stuff I made.
The turkey, I stuffed with celery, an onion I quartered, a lemon I quartered, carrots and fresh poultry herbs. Then I rubbed some softened butter mixed with fresh poultry herbs on the turkey under the skin and on top of the skin. Then I cooked it in an oven bag at 350 degrees for a little over 3 hours and checked it with a thermometer to make sure it was done.
The stuffing, I started by sauteeing a whole onion, sliced celery (the center pieces with the leaves because the majority of the flavor comes from there), fresh garlic and herbs. Then I cooked up some Jimmy Dean's Hot Breakfast Sausage, diced up an apple and mixed it all with some seasoned bread crumbs. Then I added some broth just until the stuffing held together in my hand if squished a little. I also added some poultry seasoning to it to provide it with more flavor. Then cooked covered for about 40 minutes at 350 degrees and then for another 20 minutes uncovered.
Apple salad is a recipe I got from the Hubby's grandma. It is diced apples, sliced celery, halved grapes, raisins, chopped walnuts and marshmallows. I just added all of these until it felt like a nice mix of the ingredients. Not certain measurements. Then the sauce is mayo mixed with cool whip. This is about a 50/50 mix, but I mostly did it to taste. I tend to like mine slightly sweeter.
What did you all make for Thanksgiving? I would love to hear your recipes. What are you thankful for this year? I would love to hear any of your Thanksgiving day stories.
Until next time I am just going to continue on this exciting journey of an everyday mom...
Sunday, September 17, 2017
Confidence...
I was asked the other day how I have the confidence that I do. This question surprised me for a couple of reasons. One is that for the majority of my adult life, I have not had a lot of confidence. It is not something that has come easy to me at all. Two is that I made the realization myself not long ago that my confidence has gone up a lot and I am pleasantly surprised with how happy I am in my own skin. I know that this is an important conversation for a lot of women to have and I would love to explain it to all of you. It hasn't been easy and it is still a work in progress. I have days where I completely feel insecure, but hey I am only human and no where near perfect. I am going to do my best to explain how I developed this confidence in myself and how I continue to work on it daily.
For me it started with how I looked at the world. When Bugaboo was diagnosed with Autism it shifted the way I view things. I started looking for understanding, kindness and caring. While I have always tried to be the person that smiled at others, said hi and was polite, this shift made it even more important to me. I wanted to show people kindness and I wanted to be an example of this for my children. If I want people to be kind and understanding towards my Autistic son, then I should be that for others as well. It also made me not overly concerned with anything negative someone might say to me. People don't understand my circumstances and their negative comments don't control my life. It became easier for me to ignore negative comments and brush them off. Now I am not saying it takes a shift in your entire world to be confident or recognize the wonderful person you are, this is just what happened for me.
What helped me next was watching the documentary Embrace. If you have not watched this movie yet, please do. I would love to share it with as many of you as possible. Let me know and I would love to set up a screening of it for as many of you that would love to watch it. This movie was eye opening. Taryn Brumfitt is incredible as well as all of the amazing women that are in this film. It made me look into the way society views women, their bodies and society's ideal of beauty. It also made me aware of how I look at myself and how I want my daughter to view herself. Please check out all of the information about the Body Image Movement https://bodyimagemovement.com/.
I thought about all the wonderful things I have done and am capable of. I looked inside myself and found the things I love about who I am as a person. I asked myself what do I love about me. I am strong, caring, kind, loving and understanding. I am loyal, trustworthy and smart. These are the things that make me who I am. Start there. What do you love about who you are as a person? Because all of you are incredible people. Remember that who you are, what you think and what you are capable of is not defined by what you look like. This is not something we think about often because society tends to focus on what women look like as if that is the most important thing about them which I think is completely ridiculous. Once you recognize yourself for the person that you are, it makes it so much easier to recognize the beauty on the outside as well. Think about the things your body is capable of. Think about the love you share just by using your body. Think about the things you do each day using your body. Think about the way you can accomplish your dreams, you care for your children, your significant other, the things you do everyday using your body. How can anything that can do so much be anything other than beautiful and wonderful?
Every woman is different, looks different because we are all incredibly unique and that in itself is wonderful. Look at yourself in the mirror and think about all of those things that make you who you are. Think about the way that you show that, you might be amazed by what you see. Start with one thing that you love about your body. Find the one thing that makes you feel good about yourself. I have always loved my hair so I started with that. Then I slowly started to look at the rest of my body and focused on why and how I have used it. Once I recognized what my body could do, I focused on how amazing that is. It makes it so much easier to stand in the mirror and look at myself to see the person I am and want to make myself stand out and be proud of who I am.
The hardest part is getting beyond all of the negative thoughts that happen inside your head. The truth is that we are always our harshest critics. It is so much easier to focus on the things that we failed at during the day than the amazing things we accomplished. It is easier to look in the mirror and see all the negatives. Once that negative voice pops up in my head, I immediately recognize it and freeze. When it started if I looked in the mirror, I walked away to focus on something else because that negative voice is never going to help me. It doesn't change who I am at my core, it just makes me feel crappy about myself. So, I stop what I am doing and do something that I love. I personally love music and dancing. I turn music up super loud and dance in the car, around the house, in a chair and sing the song at the top of my lungs. It makes everything a little better in my world. It helps when my kids join in my happiness and dance with me around the house. Find something that you enjoy, that takes you out of your head. Find something that makes you feel joy and happiness and do that until that voice disappears. Make sure to recognize what it is, that you are realizing you are being unfair to yourself and that it is not helping you.
As I said, this a lot of work. It is not overnight. It takes time and understanding. I still work at it. I remind myself who I am, what I am capable of and why that means I deserve as much love as I give.
Please remember that you are all incredible. Let me know if you would like to discuss any of this further or if you would like to watch the Embrace Documentary with me. I would love to hear what you love about who you are as a person and if you need any help knowing what that is I will happily remind you.
Until next time, I will just continue on this Journey of an everyday mom building my confidence and recognizing the awesomeness that is me :)...
For me it started with how I looked at the world. When Bugaboo was diagnosed with Autism it shifted the way I view things. I started looking for understanding, kindness and caring. While I have always tried to be the person that smiled at others, said hi and was polite, this shift made it even more important to me. I wanted to show people kindness and I wanted to be an example of this for my children. If I want people to be kind and understanding towards my Autistic son, then I should be that for others as well. It also made me not overly concerned with anything negative someone might say to me. People don't understand my circumstances and their negative comments don't control my life. It became easier for me to ignore negative comments and brush them off. Now I am not saying it takes a shift in your entire world to be confident or recognize the wonderful person you are, this is just what happened for me.
What helped me next was watching the documentary Embrace. If you have not watched this movie yet, please do. I would love to share it with as many of you as possible. Let me know and I would love to set up a screening of it for as many of you that would love to watch it. This movie was eye opening. Taryn Brumfitt is incredible as well as all of the amazing women that are in this film. It made me look into the way society views women, their bodies and society's ideal of beauty. It also made me aware of how I look at myself and how I want my daughter to view herself. Please check out all of the information about the Body Image Movement https://bodyimagemovement.com/.
I thought about all the wonderful things I have done and am capable of. I looked inside myself and found the things I love about who I am as a person. I asked myself what do I love about me. I am strong, caring, kind, loving and understanding. I am loyal, trustworthy and smart. These are the things that make me who I am. Start there. What do you love about who you are as a person? Because all of you are incredible people. Remember that who you are, what you think and what you are capable of is not defined by what you look like. This is not something we think about often because society tends to focus on what women look like as if that is the most important thing about them which I think is completely ridiculous. Once you recognize yourself for the person that you are, it makes it so much easier to recognize the beauty on the outside as well. Think about the things your body is capable of. Think about the love you share just by using your body. Think about the things you do each day using your body. Think about the way you can accomplish your dreams, you care for your children, your significant other, the things you do everyday using your body. How can anything that can do so much be anything other than beautiful and wonderful?
Every woman is different, looks different because we are all incredibly unique and that in itself is wonderful. Look at yourself in the mirror and think about all of those things that make you who you are. Think about the way that you show that, you might be amazed by what you see. Start with one thing that you love about your body. Find the one thing that makes you feel good about yourself. I have always loved my hair so I started with that. Then I slowly started to look at the rest of my body and focused on why and how I have used it. Once I recognized what my body could do, I focused on how amazing that is. It makes it so much easier to stand in the mirror and look at myself to see the person I am and want to make myself stand out and be proud of who I am.
The hardest part is getting beyond all of the negative thoughts that happen inside your head. The truth is that we are always our harshest critics. It is so much easier to focus on the things that we failed at during the day than the amazing things we accomplished. It is easier to look in the mirror and see all the negatives. Once that negative voice pops up in my head, I immediately recognize it and freeze. When it started if I looked in the mirror, I walked away to focus on something else because that negative voice is never going to help me. It doesn't change who I am at my core, it just makes me feel crappy about myself. So, I stop what I am doing and do something that I love. I personally love music and dancing. I turn music up super loud and dance in the car, around the house, in a chair and sing the song at the top of my lungs. It makes everything a little better in my world. It helps when my kids join in my happiness and dance with me around the house. Find something that you enjoy, that takes you out of your head. Find something that makes you feel joy and happiness and do that until that voice disappears. Make sure to recognize what it is, that you are realizing you are being unfair to yourself and that it is not helping you.
As I said, this a lot of work. It is not overnight. It takes time and understanding. I still work at it. I remind myself who I am, what I am capable of and why that means I deserve as much love as I give.
Please remember that you are all incredible. Let me know if you would like to discuss any of this further or if you would like to watch the Embrace Documentary with me. I would love to hear what you love about who you are as a person and if you need any help knowing what that is I will happily remind you.
Until next time, I will just continue on this Journey of an everyday mom building my confidence and recognizing the awesomeness that is me :)...
Sunday, July 9, 2017
Life is crazy...
I know I have been slacking on here, but I figured I would let you in on what has been going on with us lately. Before the end of the school year, there were some issues that Hubby and I were dealing with in regards to schooling for Bugaboo. This meant we had a lot of meetings and discussions, with teachers, assistant principals, school psychologists, program specialists and our representative at the Inland Regional Center. Although I won't go into specifics as to regards of the issues, we have been able to adjust Bugaboo's IEP as needed to hopefully help with the transition into a new school (our home school). This took quite a bit of time, as I said meetings and discussions between Hubby and I to come to the conclusion of what we felt was best for Bugaboo.
Then Hubby and I each had some dental procedures that took us out of commission for a couple of days each. This was not fun for either of us (quite painful to be honest) but it helped us with teaching our kids to take better care of their teeth so that is a plus I guess.
Doodlebug had her first ever dance recital. There were dance pictures, practices and us helping her at home to remember her dance. It was rounding success, she loved being on the stage, having us and several other family members in the audience, the flowers and lunch afterwards. She can't wait to do it again. Her new class starts tomorrow in fact. And she is super excited about being a ballerina for Halloween (she didn't really have a choice because frankly that costume was too expensive to use only once!).
My computer was broken for a couple of weeks. Finally Hubby was able to completely wipe the hard drive and fix it for me. I now have a completely ready to go laptop, which is one of the main reasons I wasn't on here. Have you ever tried to type up a blog post on a phone; not so easy, at least for me!
I do have some very exciting news though. I have become an official Body Image Movement Global Ambassador. This is a big deal for me and I can't wait to share all of the things I have been researching, all the wonderful messages I've read and seen and all the ways I've been privy to helping love your body. I am looking forward to sharing all of this with you.
So what has been going on in your lives...Feel free to share with me the craziness of your lives!!! Until next time, I am going to enjoy this crazy journey of an everyday mom...
Sunday, April 23, 2017
April is Autism Awareness and Acceptance Month
April is Autism Awareness and Acceptance Month, although having an autistic child in our home means that everyday is autism awareness and acceptance day to us. As a person with an autistic child and as one who didn't realize a quarter of what I wish I knew before his diagnosis, I am thrilled with the idea of more knowledge being out about Autism. Although info is being spread about Autism, the most important thing to be spread is acceptance of autistic people. I have personally witnessed my son being bullied, yelled at or talked to in ways that breaks my heart and people struggle to explain why or how he is different from other people. Knowledge is power and so the spread of knowledge about Autism is a good thing in my opinion as long as it is truthful and accurate information. So in the spirit of spreading awareness and acceptance below is some information about Autism.
Trying to define Autism is difficult because there is such a wide variety of symptoms and every person with Autism is unique. However I will do my best. Autism Spectrum Disorder is a developmental disorder that is brain based which is often characterized by social-communication challenges and restricted repetitive behaviors, activities or interests (http://autismsciencefoundation.org/what-is-autism/). It is important to know that Autism can affect any gender, race or socio-economic group.
The cause of Autism is still unknown although most studies have pointed to a genetic cause. Vaccines do NOT cause Autism. The idea that vaccines cause Autism has been disproven several times throughout multiple studies (http://autismsciencefoundation.org/what-is-autism/autism-and-vaccines/ you can read several of these studies here).
There is NO cure for Autism. An Autistic person will be Autistic for the rest of their lives. They can still have fulfilling lives with jobs, independence and relationships. Things maybe more difficult for them but it does not stop them from having wonderful lives.
Thank you for taking a few minutes to learn something new. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Thank you for having an open mind.
There is a lot of information out there, please take the time to read, learn and embrace any questions/information you may want to learn about. If there is something you want to know from me please feel free to ask.
Until next time, I am going to continue on this journey of an everyday mom...
The cause of Autism is still unknown although most studies have pointed to a genetic cause. Vaccines do NOT cause Autism. The idea that vaccines cause Autism has been disproven several times throughout multiple studies (http://autismsciencefoundation.org/what-is-autism/autism-and-vaccines/ you can read several of these studies here).
There is NO cure for Autism. An Autistic person will be Autistic for the rest of their lives. They can still have fulfilling lives with jobs, independence and relationships. Things maybe more difficult for them but it does not stop them from having wonderful lives.
Thank you for taking a few minutes to learn something new. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Thank you for having an open mind.
There is a lot of information out there, please take the time to read, learn and embrace any questions/information you may want to learn about. If there is something you want to know from me please feel free to ask.
Until next time, I am going to continue on this journey of an everyday mom...
Thursday, March 23, 2017
The requests of a mother of an autistic child...
My son is Autistic. He was diagnosed in September of 2015. He is kind, loving and wonderful. This is my Bugaboo...
Once he was diagnosed, Hubby and I have done our best to research as much as we can on Autism because we really didn't have a clue. I definitely do not understand nor know everything there is to know about Autism particularly because every autistic person is different. There are a few things that I do know for instance I know my son, but could never understand the struggles he deals with or how it feels to be autistic. I do know that I hate labels, generalizations and people thinking that he should be or act neurotypical. There are several things that bother me, particularly when it comes to a lack of knowledge or understanding from general society. I get frustrated when people stare, gawk or give dirty looks if my son has a meltdown, stims or can't control his volume level in a social situation. I get frustrated when other children yell at, bully or tell me he isn't listening or stupid, even more so when their parents are there and refuse to get involved. I really dislike parenting advice from a person who has never raised an autistic child, been involved in their care on a daily basis or thinks they know my child better than I do. I hate when people are dismissive of his diagnosis or of him in general because of his diagnosis. I hate when people tell me that they hope he gets "better" as if there is a cure or he will magically not be autistic one day.
Now I know that is quite a rant and I am sorry for that. I am aware that I cannot expect people to magically understand something, especially when it doesn't typically affect their every day life. I also know that as his mother I am quite defensive and can be vocal, but being the parent of an autistic child means that I am his advocate and sometimes quite literally his voice. So as a mother of an autistic child I would like to make a few requests if that is alright with you.
1. If you don't understand please ask. I would rather explain things to a hundred people than have one that treats an autistic person poorly. I have seen some awesome and informative videos from You Tube Channel Ask an Autistic you can check out these videos here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9Bk0GbW8xgvTgQlheNG5uw She is great about giving information from the perspective of an autistic person.
2. Be open minded and accepting of differences. I have taken a look at the world and seen judgement and hate for any difference. I try to teach my children to be accepting of people and treat them with dignity and respect no matter their differences, I can only hope that people can do the same for my children.
3. Don't allow your children to bully. My family has been in several social situations in which children have been mean, cruel or rude to my children, both of them. I have seen parents completely disregard this behavior and wave it off. We tend to remove our children from these situations. If our children behave in this way we immediately react and discipline. We do not tolerate this kind of behavior because we know what it feels like for our children to be on the receiving end.
4. Please understand the difference between a temper tantrum and an autistic meltdown. My son has had a few meltdowns in public and the responses we have gotten have been ridiculous. Someone once told my husband that if he knew how to treat our child this never would have happened. It is crazy to me that some people have the audacity. Here is great information on an autistic meltdown: http://patienttalk.org/what-are-autistic-meltdowns-a-brilliant-explanation-from-amythest-schaber-in-ask-an-autistic/ Now don't get me wrong, he is definitely capable of throwing a temper tantrum but it is definitely not the same.
5. Please understand that social situations, loud noises and even eating can overwhelm my autistic son. He might cover his ears, stim or cling to us. He might not seem like he is listening or in his own world but he is trying to deal with overwhelming sensations running through his mind. He is extremely sensitive to food and will therefore only eat certain things. Please don't be offended if we don't come to a social event because he might not be up to it.
6. Please don't try to force neurotypical ideals onto him. He is different, his brain is different and it is unfair to expect him not to be. He is polite, kind, loving and gives the best hugs/snuggles. He is amazing just the way he is.
7. Please understand that Hubby and I see the world differently now. We have so much patience, deal with doctors, speech therapists, IEP meetings, teachers, OT therapists, insurance and other agencies constantly. So if we have no more patience, are short or seem frustrated it is because of all the things we are facing. But none of this compares to all of the things Bugaboo deals with trying to fit in a neurotypical world.
If your still with me thanks so much for reading, trying to understand and willing to be open minded. Thank you for your support. If you have questions about anything please feel free to ask. Thank you for letting me rant a little. Our Bugaboo has been going through a rough transition at school and has been burnt out with all of the testing, therapies and changes he has been dealt with. Our Doodlebug has been a little frustrated and upset lately.Sorry for being a little MIA. Our kids come first and they have needed us quite a bit lately.
It might be a crazy, unexpected and tiring journey, but I will spend everyday loving it and my family. So until next time, I will just keep pushing through this journey of an everyday mom...
Once he was diagnosed, Hubby and I have done our best to research as much as we can on Autism because we really didn't have a clue. I definitely do not understand nor know everything there is to know about Autism particularly because every autistic person is different. There are a few things that I do know for instance I know my son, but could never understand the struggles he deals with or how it feels to be autistic. I do know that I hate labels, generalizations and people thinking that he should be or act neurotypical. There are several things that bother me, particularly when it comes to a lack of knowledge or understanding from general society. I get frustrated when people stare, gawk or give dirty looks if my son has a meltdown, stims or can't control his volume level in a social situation. I get frustrated when other children yell at, bully or tell me he isn't listening or stupid, even more so when their parents are there and refuse to get involved. I really dislike parenting advice from a person who has never raised an autistic child, been involved in their care on a daily basis or thinks they know my child better than I do. I hate when people are dismissive of his diagnosis or of him in general because of his diagnosis. I hate when people tell me that they hope he gets "better" as if there is a cure or he will magically not be autistic one day.
Now I know that is quite a rant and I am sorry for that. I am aware that I cannot expect people to magically understand something, especially when it doesn't typically affect their every day life. I also know that as his mother I am quite defensive and can be vocal, but being the parent of an autistic child means that I am his advocate and sometimes quite literally his voice. So as a mother of an autistic child I would like to make a few requests if that is alright with you.
2. Be open minded and accepting of differences. I have taken a look at the world and seen judgement and hate for any difference. I try to teach my children to be accepting of people and treat them with dignity and respect no matter their differences, I can only hope that people can do the same for my children.
3. Don't allow your children to bully. My family has been in several social situations in which children have been mean, cruel or rude to my children, both of them. I have seen parents completely disregard this behavior and wave it off. We tend to remove our children from these situations. If our children behave in this way we immediately react and discipline. We do not tolerate this kind of behavior because we know what it feels like for our children to be on the receiving end.
4. Please understand the difference between a temper tantrum and an autistic meltdown. My son has had a few meltdowns in public and the responses we have gotten have been ridiculous. Someone once told my husband that if he knew how to treat our child this never would have happened. It is crazy to me that some people have the audacity. Here is great information on an autistic meltdown: http://patienttalk.org/what-are-autistic-meltdowns-a-brilliant-explanation-from-amythest-schaber-in-ask-an-autistic/ Now don't get me wrong, he is definitely capable of throwing a temper tantrum but it is definitely not the same.
5. Please understand that social situations, loud noises and even eating can overwhelm my autistic son. He might cover his ears, stim or cling to us. He might not seem like he is listening or in his own world but he is trying to deal with overwhelming sensations running through his mind. He is extremely sensitive to food and will therefore only eat certain things. Please don't be offended if we don't come to a social event because he might not be up to it.
6. Please don't try to force neurotypical ideals onto him. He is different, his brain is different and it is unfair to expect him not to be. He is polite, kind, loving and gives the best hugs/snuggles. He is amazing just the way he is.
7. Please understand that Hubby and I see the world differently now. We have so much patience, deal with doctors, speech therapists, IEP meetings, teachers, OT therapists, insurance and other agencies constantly. So if we have no more patience, are short or seem frustrated it is because of all the things we are facing. But none of this compares to all of the things Bugaboo deals with trying to fit in a neurotypical world.
If your still with me thanks so much for reading, trying to understand and willing to be open minded. Thank you for your support. If you have questions about anything please feel free to ask. Thank you for letting me rant a little. Our Bugaboo has been going through a rough transition at school and has been burnt out with all of the testing, therapies and changes he has been dealt with. Our Doodlebug has been a little frustrated and upset lately.Sorry for being a little MIA. Our kids come first and they have needed us quite a bit lately.
It might be a crazy, unexpected and tiring journey, but I will spend everyday loving it and my family. So until next time, I will just keep pushing through this journey of an everyday mom...
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